Tough Choices
by dls
Summary: During Harm's Way. Angel has to make a choice that will decide if Spike stays in LA or not. Rated M to be safe.


"Pick one."

"Spike?" Angel looked up from the folder on his desk, disbelief evident on his face. "You're still here."

"Brilliant observation, mate." Spike snorted as he walked toward Angel.

"I thought you went back to Europe."

"Planning on it." Ignoring the older vampire's cringe, he sat down on the chair across from Angel and propped his feet up on the desk. Spike made sure his boots rested on a pile of carefully arranged papers; he smirked and shifted his body weight to further wrinkle the pages.

"Why are you still here?" His eyes narrowed. "Where's my Viper?"

"C'mon Peaches! Aren't you glad to see me? Thought you'd be happy to see me." Spike's tone had been teasing, but a glimpse of hurt flashed in his eyes.

"I am, but you said..."

"Yeah yeah, I know what I said. I bloody well said it, didn't it? Going back to Europe and..."

"Then go!" Angel snapped, hearing Spike saying that he was leaving once was bad enough, having the statement repeated was definitely worse. "Then go." He said in what he hoped was a calmer tone.

"Well," He smirked. "That's where you come in. Poof." The insult was almost like an afterthought.

Angel didn't reply, he just stared at Spike and waited for him to explain. Years of experience taught him that asking questions would only distract Spike and lead them both on a completely random tangent. Angel still couldn't figure out how a lesson stalking a prey ended up in a discussion about the mating rituals of vampire squirrels.

Satisfied that he had all of Angel's attention, Spike stood up, making sure to knock over the in tray. He then turned to face Angel and reached into the pockets of his duster. "Pick one."

"Pick what?" The amount of confusion in Angel's voice matched the amusement on Spike's face. Spike was greatly amused.

"Two tickets. One to Europe and one to LA, both leaving in an hour." Spike indicated the tickets by patting his thighs with his hands in his duster. "If you pick the one for Europe, I'll go."

"They sell tickets from LA to LA?"

"You really are a bloody idiot! Just shut up and pick one!" A mix of annoyance and amusement flitted across his face. Angelus or Angel, either version of his grandsire was never good at focusing on the important issue at hand. How many vampires were idiotic enough to dress in their finest and spend an obscene amount of time fixing their hair before going out for a hunt that would definitely be bloody and messy? One. And that was the moronic vampire gaping at him like the moron that he was.

"But how does that work? You go from one airport to the other? There's only one airport in LA."

"Argh!" Visibly controlling his urge to smack Angel over the head, Spike gritted his teeth and hissed. "Just pick the damn ticket or I'll pick it myself!"

Having a pretty good idea as to which one Spike would pick, Angel made a mental note to ask someone about the ticket later. He concentrated on the gravity of this situation – if Spike went to Europe, chance were that he might not see the blonde again for at least couple centuries.

So whether or not Spike stayed with him in LA depended on which ticket he picked. The first thought that entered Angel's mind was how fucked-up this whole thing is, followed by a desperate cry to the Powers That Be, asking why he was always stuck with the hard choices.

Well, at least it was 50/50.

"Left...no! Right!"

"You sure?"

Spike's easy grin fueled Angel's doubts. "No! Left!"

"Final answer?"

"Yes. No. Maybe." The leather chair squeaked as Angel fidgeted. "I don't know."

"Peaches." Spike glared. "Make up your bloody mind."

"Left." Nodding with resolution, Angel said the word clearly.

"My left or your left?"

"What?"

"Oh bloody hell! Never mind, your left." Slowly, Spike pulled a ticket out of his pocket.

British Airways.

Angel slumped back in his chair. Why did his life have to suck so badly?

He thought having had Darla as a Sire was bad, he had been wrong. Siring Dru on a whim and ending up being forced to live with her constant insane chatter was unpleasant. Having Spike as a childe was a nice reprieve from all the chaos. As pathetic as it sounded, William – no, Spike – was the only good thing in Angelus' life; but then Angelus had to be a moron and decided to eat that gypsy girl.

What happened after that could only be described as horrible – eating rats, going without a bath for months, huddling in a pile of newspapers and other things Angel had forced his mind to erase.

Years later, Buffy came along and brought more than enough heartache and pain with her. Angel moved to LA only to have his son and the woman he thought he loved taken away.

Angel wasn't so sure if he still loved Cordelia. Seeing her and Connor together was agony, but to be with her after all that had happened just seemed wrong, even if Cordy was possessed. Like some sort of reversed-Oedipus complex.

Of course, the universe's torture didn't stop there. He had to join Wolfram & Hart, resisting the urge to stake himself so he could stop feeling unclean everyday. He almost did drive the stake into his chest when he heard of his childe's death on the Hellmouth. Maybe that was when Angel realized that he liked Spike a little more than just "like". He didn't think that he would feel the need to punch Buffy in the face for leaving Spike, as much as Angel knew there was nothing else to be done. Whatever he felt for Spike, it wasn't "like".

And now, the only good thing so far in his life – Spike – was leaving.

Spike was leaving because Angel had the worst luck in the entire world, which was obviously out to get him.

Deep in self-pity and bitterness toward the world, Angel didn't notice Spike when the younger vampire pushed him back to make room to sit on the desk. Angel remained oblivious as Spike settled down right on top of the files he was reviewing moment ago. It wasn't until Spike shouted "Poofter!" in his ear that Angel snapped out of his daze.

"You're still here."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Tired of that one, try something new."

"I love you. Don't leave."

If Spike were shocked by the sudden admission, he didn't show it. Instead, the blonde reached behind him and pushed a button on the phone.

"Wyndam-Pryce."

"Yo! Percy! Get in here!"

Wesley's startled yelp could be heard over the speaker phone, after a muttered "Oh, for God's sakes", a click ended the phone call.

"Spike?" Angel called, in a hesitant tone that contrasted sharply with his immediate tight grip on Spike's waist, holding the younger vampire in place.

"Shut up."

To Spike's surprise, Angel listened and pressed his lips into a tight line. They sat in silence, with Spike's swinging feet touching Angel's shins and the brunette's hands around Spike's slim waist.

"Spike," Wesley entered the office with one of his hands outstretched. "Kindly return Fred and my tickets."

"Sure thing, Percy." Spike pulled out the tickets from his pockets, including the one that had caused Angel so much distress just few moments ago.

Angel didn't miss the fact that both tickets said "British Airway". He blinked slowly as comprehension dawned upon him.

"You lied to me!" Angel leapt out of his chair and leaned toward Spike in a menacing growl. "You son of a bitch!"

Waving a dismissive hand at the shocked Wesley, Spike replied with a smirk. "If not, would you have admitted that you love this son of a bitch?"

"You...I...How..." In shock, the elder vampire stumbled back until his legs touched his chair. "What'd happen if I figured it out?"

"You won't and you didn't." Smug was the only word to describe the look on Spike's face.

"How do you know?"

"Didn't even want to take a closer look at the ticket." Reaching into his jacket, Spike took out his cigarettes then looked around for a lighter.

"You...knew that I wouldn't look?" Despite his obvious shock, Angel grabbed the cigarette dangling between Spike's lips and threw it in the trash.

"Yep."

"You..." Utterly stunned by his childe, Angel dropped down in his chair only to have it roll away and leaving an embarrassed vampire on the floor.

Spike extended a hand and pulled the brunette back on his feet. "Impressed?"

"Very." Gripping the armrests firmly first, Angel carefully seated himself down. "How did your rusty and practically nonexistent brain come up with this?"

"How did your big, judging by the overhanging forehead of yours, brain fall for it so easily?" Spike retorted while allowing Angel to pull him closer.

Silence fell between the two vampires as they sat, with their forehead touching.

"Because it's you..."


End file.
